so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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