I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
