I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
