Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
