Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
