I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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