sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
