All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
