he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This is classic penis vs brain.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize