It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
