Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
