...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
