when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
3pm strippers are depressing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
