After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
