I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
