i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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