I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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