So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
