I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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