question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
