well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
