Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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