I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
