So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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