I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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