at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
