All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
