i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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