well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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