Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
