I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
