Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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