you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize