dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
