taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
