Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
