I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
