i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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