Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
