how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize