If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
