No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
