i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
