you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
