There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
