I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
