the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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