So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
