your thong is hanging out like whoa
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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