Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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