you win again, gameday.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
