we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
