i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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