would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
