Well douche your snatch and let's go!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
