for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
