Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
