im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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