you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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