How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
