I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
