Tell her she can't have a vagina
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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