In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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