I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
