what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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