My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
