Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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