Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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