just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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