yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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