Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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