it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
